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song of the day: music is my boyfriend by skye sweetnam
mood of the day: bitterly nostalgic
date: 9/25/2023
i'm very bitter that i'm in my 20s and yet society has already wired me to feel nostalgic for a youth that i'm, technically, still in.
with the resurgence of y2k (something i am not inherently against! i, in fact, partook in y2k trends just like everyone else in my age range! and if we can possibly push it enough where i can finally own my own sidekick, that would be phenomenal) and remakes of old shows, movies and even toys...i feel like i've been made to feel older than i really am. and sometimes, the nostalgia kind of hurts. like, it's a bit hard to look to the future when everyone wants to usher in the past. which i like, also have complicated feelings about.
my "hot take" so to speak, is that i think we spearheaded into the future a little too quickly. of course, this excludes things like science and medicine! these are fantastical feats that i am very glad we've reached and i hope we continue to reach even higher! but, i mean like...everyday lowstakes technologies and internet. when you sit back and think about it, it took absolutely no time to go from flip phones to iphones. we went from chunky desktop computers to sleek laptops that hold 1 tb of memory for all your baldur's gate 3 needs. and in one hand, love that for us. but on the other, it's like...we could've lingered on cd players more. laptops don't even have cd drives anymore! and i have to actually find music specific stores to be able to buy physicals! and, you know what? i don't need to see every single pore on a character. 8-bit is endearing! sims 2 graphics are totally enough!
but, aside from that, i'm just kind of tired of my childhood being dangled in front of me at all times. stores absolutely strive on this "nostalgiaporn". everything is like "hey remember this thing from your childhood? haha, it's nearly vintage now! anyways, here it is again! and we're making a big deal about it!" at first, i was excited to be able to own the things i couldn't as a child because i, well...had no money. and we're a generation riddled with financial and childhood trauma, we're all healing our inner children often and indulging in bursts of happinesses in the middle of the sludge left and right. but, it's just...god, i'm just so so so tired of sitting here thinking about the "good ole days". even my song choice for this post, i thought to myself "wow 2007...i'd love to go back to that time". NO I WOULDN'T! i think i do because the past is being sold to me all the time. but, i had very little control of myself at that time. and i had very little freedom! but, the "when we were young" tour is making me feel like a middle aged mom going to the boyz ii men vegas residency! which, yes, i'd love to go to! i love boyz ii men! but i don't want to feel like i'm...way older than i am! aging is beautiful and i don't want to be scared of it all the time because back then was better, i guess!
song of the day: too little too late by jojo
mood of the day: tired but rockin' and rollin'
date: 8/3/2023
sitting as a young millenial or very elder gen z (i always hear such flip flop on this), i realized that a lot of our early internet exposure and journeys are similar, but not the same. and, also, that a lot of trends too didn't hit everyone. one massive one i've somehow missed entirely was homestuck. i've never even ran into a speck of homestuck until like, maybe 2009 or 2010? i'm not even sure what years were big for it but, it was never in my radar. but a lot of my friends had been big homestuck fans. homestuckheads? homestucknites? they got something like that?
another like, massive thing i somehow never ran into was warrior cats. that i only heard about like, maybe 5? 6 years ago? i still do not know what any of those two series are about. all i know is that my online friends have very fond memories of these things and i was completely non the wiser. but it always feels a little...distancing. what was i doing at the time? probably religiously searching up music videos and youtube series created on the sims 2 that was posting on youtube. or like, youtube poops but specifically kingdom hearts ones (hey! i didn't miss that craze). or like, watching an ungodly amount of helia x flora, riven x musa (oh, little me... riven?) and tecna x timmy amvs. or maybe i was knee deep in the 'seven minutes in heaven...' kingdom hearts org xiii quizilla quizzes, picking all the ones that would lead me to demyx because my favorite brand of boy is 'loser'. omg, or those 'werewolf, angel, vampire and human - who will you end up with?' quizilla quiz series? i can't be the only one who both remembers those and also made their own!
and, you know what? writing all of these things, i bet there's some of these that other millenials/elder gen zers also completely and totally missed that i went through. maybe they also feel the same sense of not getting invited to some party everyone else was...i'm not sure where i was going here but, i guess it's just very interesting to hear about where we've all been. what i listed isn't even half of the places in this big big world wide web that i would frequent. what a journey, one that we're all still on.
song of the day: not gonna get us by t.A.T.u.
mood of the day: full little tumtum
date: 6/13/2023
wow! it's been an exact month since i was last here. first and foremost, HAPPY PRIDE! as someone who found herself a bit later in the game, i'm happy to be here! and i hope others know that this is a safe place for them.
now, this isn't entirely related... in fact, it isn't at all, but i've been binge watching catfish and it's been...quite an experience. when you first watch it, it's sort of like, 'oh interesting! this is a real wild thing that happens and they're like, pretty good at finding out if the person is a catfish or not!' and that's like, okay, fun! and it's something gratifiying too when the catfish was being very malicious. but, sometimes, i watch this and i'm like...you guys are so scary! lol
right now i'm watching an episode where they totally just...ran up on someone's house! and obviously, they get the okay to show this on tv, but it's like...that's really, i don't know...some sort of invasion, right? or, sometimes, they kind of force answers. which again, i understand is the point but it's also like...maybe they've got something they really don't want their family to know? granted! i also understand that they have to get the okay to show this! and that they wouldn't show anything that people very explicitly don't want to be uh, put on tv. but it's still like...whoa, you know?
either way, i'm like so obsessed with this show lately lol and it's good tv regardless! i'm such a sucker for these sort of like, weird jerky camera shows. like cheaters, ugh! if it's bad tv? well, then i have shit taste! and that's okay!
song of the day: bikini bottom by icespice
mood of the day: so, so tired
date: 5/13/2023
made a little fake habitat? terrarium? living...space? for these little lizard pals i got earlier this year! they're so cute and just absolutetly could not be displayed in anyway that isn't, well exactly like this! i've added photos of it below:
regarding names...i haven't thought of any yet. hmm, maybe momoko, miyako and kaoru (extra points if you know where those names are from)!
song of the day: far away by nickleback
mood of the day: tummy hurts but i'm being so brave about it
date: 5/8/2023
thinking about how much musicals like, truly rock. i think they're so great, i love a little song and dance. watching into the heights for the first time and as a latina, it was pretty neat to see! do i think the (SPOILERS SPOLILERS SPOILERS) death was not needed? yes, of course. it was kind of random. but i understood why it was added (SPOILERS END HERE) but it obviously didn't disrupt how much i ended up enjoying it. and, obviously, this made me think of other musicals i really enjoyed! like 'hairspray' and 'rocky horror picture show'. of course, there's 'les miserables', 'grease' and the ever so tumblrina classic, 'hamilton'. and there are SO! MANY! MORE! everyone should watch musicals!
song of the day: the conqueror by aurora
mood of the day: carefree
date: 5/6/2023
getting over someone you know you can't have--especially when you thought you had already crossed that bridge--is so unforgiving. the worst thing our silly little hearts can do. it's a path in life i've had to go down more than once various times in my life and each time, it's always...annoying, lol. painful for a while but then it's like, come on! let's be done with this! making silly little lists of cons...having to do things that make me happy or distract me...it's embarrassing!
but like all times before, it's a hump that can and will be crossed over and at the other end, it'll all be okay again.
song of the day: middle of the night by elley duhe
mood of the day: calm
date: 4/30/2023
i think the gradual downfall of twitter is tossing people all over the web and, it's sort of exciting in a way. with social media, you kind of just expect to see everyone in one space. in fact, people will call you like, weird if you don't have a twitter or facebook or whatever. and i doubt things are suddenly going to change and i know soon enough, another social media will rein. but, even now, i'm hearing all these different websites people are on...i mean, here i am in neocities. i didn't think i'd ever be in something like this.
making my own website has been an enjoyable experience! i'm kind of like, really putting my time and all into it. i want to have something that's "complete" (it'll never be finish) so i can just focus on growing it and not exactly building it anymore. looking through all the websites on here has been such a treat and super big inspiration. everyone is so talented and unique. whether it be personal sites like my own or those with their own stories and universes, it's super cool!
